What’s in a name? That which we call a rose,
By any other name would smell as sweet.
– Romeo and Juliet II, ii, 1-2
Oft quoted, rarely questioned but… it should be. Consider with an indulgent eye these famous people:
Vernon Philanderer, whose wife thinks he’s out touring at cricket tournaments when he’s actually bowling maidens over.
Jean-Luc, who thought he was the world’s greatest starship captain until he was hoist with his own Picard.
Urmila Makadtondkar, who was offered a role in ‘The Rise of the Planet of the Apes‘ because the producers would be able to save a bunch of money on the make-up budget.
Angelina Joleg, who showed off throughout the recent Academy Awards ceremony.
Lionel Messy, whose mother was always yelling at him to clean his room before she’d let him go out to play football.
Charles Cabbage, the inventor of the modern vegetable-powered computer.
Freida Printo, the cookie-cutter Slumdog Millionaire phenomenon who inspired the India-wide Kinko’s clone.
Peter Pinch, a dirty old man with the amazing Network.
Stephen Stalking, a scientist no less creepy than Dr. Strangelove, with the same creepy chair, voice and spectacles. Hmm!
And then the profusion of American TV shows with most unpleasant titles:
Poison Of Interest
Pissing
Law and Ordure
Dirty Sock
Boston Pubic
Sex and the Shitty (okay, this is a repeat pun – so sue me)
The Offal Guy
The Poop
Uncrapped
Icky Lake
Snots Landing
Miami Lice
One Pee Hill
The Dana Larvae Show
America’s Maggot Talent
All About Pus
Spit City
… and so on, you get the idea.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Let this be Contest # 3. Though there’s nearly no doubt that I’ll win, especially since up until now nobody else has participated <heh>.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
I understand that for this post, a help file might be needed:
1. Vernon Philander is a South African cricketer
2. Jean-Luc Picard is the Captain of the Starship Enterprise in the TV series Star Trek – The Next Generation
3. Shakespeare originated the phrase ‘hoist with his own petar’, also in Romeo and Juliet.
4. Urmila Matondkar is a Bollywood actress. Makadtondkar, in Pig Marathi, means a person with the face (tond) of a monkey (makad).
5. Bollywood – and I hope there are several million people who don’t yet know what this is – is the fancy ‘ape-the-west’ name for Hindi cinema.
6. If you haven’t figured them out, they are respectively Person of Interest, Missing, Law and Order, 30 Rock, Sex and the City, The Fall Guy, The Loop, Unwrapped, Ricki Lake, Knott’s Landing, Miami Vice, One Tree Hill, The Dana Carvey Show, America’s Got Talent, All About Us, Spin City.